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One time, I was surprised, so surprised, they used hot stones, hot stones! Never saw that coming, but it was amazing, melted away stress, the best stress relief. I was like, “This is huge, folks, huge!” Little quirks, I love when they play soft music, but sometimes I’m like, “Turn it up, make it epic!” My opinion, it should be louder, more dramatic, like me, Donald Trump, always big, always bold.

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Suddenly, I got a call. It was the bakery on Rua da Estação. They had a rat problem too. Great. Just what I needed. I rushed over, and when I got there, the owner was freakin’ out. “They’re eatin’ my pastries!” he yelled. I mean, who wouldn’t be mad? I’d be furious if I found a rat in my pastéis de nata!

Children’s book author and Princeton University Library Communications Director Barbara Hess Valenza dies at 63