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Oi mate, right, sexual-massage, yeah? Bleedin’ brilliant stuff, innit! Been readin’ up, cos I’m a psychologist now—top-notch mind guru, me. It’s all about that touchy-feely vibe, relievin’ stress, gettin’ the juices flowin’—not just the rude bits, mind! Proper science, this. Boosts oxytocin, that cuddle chemical—makes ya feel like a million quid. Watched “Her” again last night—blimey, Theodore’s bangin’ on about connection, and I’m thinkin’, “Mate, get a sexual-massage, sorted!” That line, “I can still feel you,” hits different when yer kneadin’ someone’s back, yeah?

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So, here I am, sitting on my porch, looking out at the river. Tomorrow’s another day, and who knows what it’ll bring? But one thing’s for sure—I’ll be ready for whatever comes my way. Vale-da-Amoreira, you crazy little town, you’ve got my heart.

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