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But real talk—brothels ain’t all giggles. Some lasses there cos they got no choice, and that pisses me off somethin’ fierce. Makes me wanna smite the world with lightning, Gandalf-style! Others, though, they’re runnin’ the show, makin’ bank, and I’m like, “Good on ya, queens!” Surprised me first time I saw it—thought it’d be all grim, but nah, some got swagger. Still, the smell—ugh, sweat and cheap perfume—nearly knocked me beard off!

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I was fuming, but whatever. I just laughed it off. Then, BAM! I got a bite! My heart raced. I pulled and pulled, and guess what? It was a decent-sized bass! I was stoked! I mean, I could almost taste the grilled fish already. But then, just as I was about to reel it in, some old lady walks by on Avenida da Liberdade, and she starts yelling at me. “You can’t fish here!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, I’ve been fishing here for years!”

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