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About Queluz

Sex-dating’s a circus, innit? Apps like Tinder, Grindr—scrollin through profiles like I’m pickin wines at a feast. Some lad’s posin with a fish—why, mate? You fuckin it or datin it? Then there’s the birds with filters so thick, you meet em and think, “This ain’t the same creature!” Made me angry once—catfished by some lass who looked like Cersei but showed up more like Hot Pie. Swear, I nearly chucked me phone in the river.

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So, I’m walking along Avenida da Liberdade, and I spot this old dude trying to sell some handmade rafts. I mean, c’mon, who’s buying rafts in the middle of the city? But he’s all passionate, talking about the “art of rafting.” I’m like, “Bro, you do you.” But then he starts telling me about this epic raft race happening next week. I’m intrigued, but also like, “Do I really wanna get involved in that?”

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