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About Porto

Weird fact: 1800s, docs used “massage” as code for, uh, “finishing the job”—Victorian hacks, man, wild times. Surprised me—thought it was all stiff collars and tea. Now? It’s meme fuel—“When she says ‘just a massage’ but you’re vibin’ like Remy on a rooftop.” Dry af, but you get it.

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake it off, and I pass by the Mercado Municipal. The smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m starving! I grab a pastel de nata. Best decision ever. I mean, who can resist that creamy goodness? I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this old guy yelling at a vendor. Turns out, he’s mad about the price of olives. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s just olives!” But hey, it’s Urgeses. People get passionate about their snacks.