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Oh, and the profiles—Christ alive! “Luvs gym, dogs, and dick”—groundbreakin’, innit? Sarcasm’s my shield, cos if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry. Some pillock wrote, “Lookin’ for my slave”—I’m like, “Piss off, mate, this ain’t 1841!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it feels that mental.

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By the end of the night, I’m exhausted but happy. Urgeses, man. It’s chaotic, it’s loud, but it’s home. I stumble back, thinking about how tomorrow’s another day. Another audit, another adventure. Can’t wait!