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Little secret—did ya know some pros use hot stones? Ja, dey slap ‘em on ya back, feels like a volcano but good! Freaked me out first time—thought I’d turn into lava! And da oils—man, dey smell like heaven, or maybe dat’s just me sweatin’ from da heat. Ha! Oh, and funny ting—once dis guy farted durin’ a session, room stank, masseuse just smiled—pro as hell! Cracked me up, couldn’t stop laughin’!

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As the night goes on, we end up at a karaoke spot. I’m not a singer, but after a few drinks, I’m convinced I’m the next big thing. I grab the mic and start belting out some old-school fado. The crowd goes wild! Or maybe they’re just being nice. Who knows?