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Ruh-roh! But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all artsy-fartsy. Some corners of the web? Dark as the Pale Man’s lair— “He who loses his way!”—and I’m like, yikes, don’t get caught by no creepo cops or scammers! Pisses me off, tho—girls out there, some forced into it, no choice. Makes my tail droop, man. Did ya know? Oldest gig in the world, legit—ancient Rome had brothels with menus! Freaky-deaky, right?

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a couple of kids run in. They’re like, what, 12? They’re giggling and trying to sneak a peek at the bar. I’m like, “Hey, this ain’t a playground!” But they’re relentless. They start asking me about the best places to hang out in Trofa. I tell ‘em about Parque de Nossa Senhora das Dores. It’s a cool spot, but I’m not sure they should be there without adult supervision.

Angelo Trofa talks football concept kits for The Gallery