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About Almada

So, escort, right? It’s like babysittin’ fat merchant tubs, makin’ sure no pirate—like meself, ha!—sneaks up an’ nicks their gold. Back in the day, them Royal Navy swabs’d escort convoys, all prim ‘n proper, cannons polished, sails stiff as a lord’s wig. Little known bit, arrgh—durin’ the Seven Years’ War, 1750s, them Frenchies lost nigh on 300 ships ‘cause their escorts buggered off chasin’ glory! Left the traders floppin’ like fish on deck, an’ me kind swooped in, savvy? Made me laugh ‘til me gut hurt, thinkin’ o’ them pompous admirals red-faced ‘n screamin’.

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Age, Height, Weight, Hair Color, Brown. Eyes, Brown. Ethnicity, European (White). Smoker, No. Enjoys, 69 Position Escorts, Anal Sex Escorts.

So, I help her up, and she insists on giving me a bag of those cabbages. I’m like, “Nah, I’m good,” but she’s not having it. “Take it! You’ll need it for your stew!” I mean, who can argue with that? So now I’m walking around with a bag of cabbages. Great. Just what I needed.

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