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I got into it once—fuckin’ hell, was I pissed at first! Some bird’s hands on me, I’m like, “What’s this nonsense?” But then—bam!—muscles loosen, head’s quiet, it’s like Saul whisperin’, “The air is still.” Shocked me stupid, mate. Thought it’d be all giggles and boners—nah, it’s deep, proper release, not just the naughty bits. Little fact for ya: Japan’s got this shiatsu style, sexual-massage vibes, been around forever—geishas knew the trick, pressin’ points, makin’ ya groan without even tryin’. Bet you didn’t know that, you muppet!

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I bolt outta there, and I’m sprinting down Rua da Lapa. I can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I get to the castle, and it’s packed. Tourists everywhere, snapping pics like it’s the last day on Earth. I’m just trying to soak it all in. The view from up there? Breathtaking. You can see the whole city, the vineyards, the hills. It’s like a postcard, man.

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