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Now, lemme ask ya—slow, real slow—ever tried it? Ever got that rush? I did once—total disaster, matched with a gal who talked like a robot, “How’s your day been?” Killed the vibe dead. Made me wanna scream, “What are we doing here?!” Like Joey Cusack yellin’, “You tell me, asshole!” at his brother in the flick. Sex-dating’s a gamble—thrills ya, screws ya, leaves ya laughin’ or cryin’. Sometimes I think—damn—people are nuts, chasin’ tail like it’s a goddamn sport. But hey, who am I to judge? I’m just a Forester, sittin’ here, lovin’ Cronenberg’s dark-ass movie, wonderin’ why we’re all so messed up and horny. What’s your story, huh? Spill it!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s Maria. “Where are you?” Ugh, back to reality. I rush back to the lab, and of course, I trip on the way. Classic. I’m rolling on the ground, and I’m like, “Great, just great.”

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