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About Porto

Alright, my friend, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the riff-wielding master of strings, and I’ve got THOUGHTS on this sex-dating nonsense. You shall not pass! Not without hearin’ me out first. Picture this – me, strummin’ my axe, watchin’ the world swipe left and right like it’s some kinda Middle-earth meat market. Drives me up the bloody wall! All these apps, promisin’ quick hookups – “In the end, it’s all lies!” Like that line from *The Lives of Others*, y’know? People tappin’ away, thinkin’ they’re free, but they’re just spied on by algorithms. Creepy as hell.

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So, I stroll into this little café, right? The one near the Praça do Município. I order my usual—bica, of course. But the barista? She spills it all over the counter! Like, c’mon! I’m just tryna enjoy my caffeine fix. I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Really? Is this how we’re starting?”

Pilot dies in crash of its FireBoss water bomber in Portugal