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About Almada

Sometimes I’m layin’ there, right, music low, candles flickerin’, and it’s like, “This town’s got secrets,” like in “Dogville.” You feel exposed but safe, ya know? Ain’t no judgement, just vibes. But lemme tell ya, one time this dude’s hands was clammy—fuckin’ gross, man! I’m like, “Bruh, you slimin’ me or massagin’ me?” Had to bounce, couldn’t deal. Still cracks me up, thinkin’ how he fumbled that bag.

O SPA mais luxuoso do Algarve

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First customer walks in. This dude, I swear, he orders a double espresso with oat milk, no foam, and a sprinkle of cinnamon. Like, bro, it’s 8 AM! Who even drinks that at this hour? I’m already rolling my eyes, but whatever. I whip it up, and he’s like, “This is too hot.” I’m like, “Dude, it’s coffee. Not a bath.”

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