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Den dere’s da fun part, right? You match, you chat, you’re like, “Hey, maybe dis broad’s worth a shot.” Reminds me of dat line in “Ten”—“You don’t love me anymore?”—‘cept it’s more like, “You gonna bang me or what?” Ha! I’m laughin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it. Sex-datin’s quick, dirty, no bullshit—kinda like how I run tings ‘round here. No long dinners, no “let’s get to know each otha”—nah, it’s straight to da point, bada bing!

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Next, I get this old guy. He’s got a cane and a hat that looks like it’s from the 1800s. He starts telling me about the “good ol’ days” in Tavira. I’m nodding, but honestly, I’m just thinkin’ about how I can’t wait for my lunch break. He goes on about the Roman bridge, Ponte Romana, and how it used to be the only way to cross the river. I’m like, “Yeah, man, but now we got cars and stuff.”

Bicycle thief caught red-handed in Tavira