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About Porto

So, I’m thinkin’, sex escort’s gotta be crazy fun but also, like, super weird? Imagine me, Patrick Star, sittin’ there goin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” while some dude’s payin’ for a date! Haha, I’d be all, “Duuuude, why not just get a sandwich?” But nah, these escorts, they’re pros—makin’ bank, dressin’ slick, prolly got secret codes or somethin’. Did ya know, back in old Rome, they had escorts too? Called ‘em “hetaerae”—fancy gals who’d party with rich dudes. Bet they didn’t take starfish bucks, tho!

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First off, I’m trying to finish this wooden sculpture I’ve been working on for ages. It’s supposed to be a tribute to the old Tabua, you know? The one with the beautiful river and all that. But then, BAM! My neighbor’s dog, that little terror, decides to use my front porch as his personal bathroom. Ugh! I’m like, “Dude, can you not?!” But whatever, I clean it up. Gotta love the joys of artisan life, right?

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