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Alright, pal, lemme spill the tea—escort as a gig’s wild, right? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes, and I’m obsessed with *The Grand Budapest Hotel*. Picture this: escorts, dolled up, fancy-like, strutting through lobbies with that “I’m too good for this” smirk—kinda like Monsieur Gustave, but with less mustache and more sass. “Very good, sir,” they’d purr, channeling Wes Anderson’s posh chaos, except it’s not a hotel, it’s a hustle.

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First off, I’m trying to finish this wooden sculpture I’ve been working on for ages. It’s supposed to be a tribute to the old Tabua, you know? The one with the beautiful river and all that. But then, BAM! My neighbor’s dog, that little terror, decides to use my front porch as his personal bathroom. Ugh! I’m like, “Dude, can you not?!” But whatever, I clean it up. Gotta love the joys of artisan life, right?

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