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I’m, like, obsessed with the thrill tho. That “ding” when u match? Pure dopamine, baby! Feels like—“We’re close now, so close!”—n ya start imaginin’ the night ahead. But sometimes it’s a total flop—dude shows up smellin’ like wet socks. Ew, pass! Or—get this—met a gal who brought her pet snake to the date. SNAKE. I’m like, “Ruh-roh, Scoob’s outta here!” N she’s all, “he’s friendly!” Nah, fam, I’m not tryna threesome with a python!

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down Rua da Igreja. The vibe is nice, people are out and about, and I’m feeling good. But then, I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s terrible. Like, I’m no music expert, but c’mon! I’m standing there, trying not to laugh, and this old lady next to me starts dancing like it’s the best thing ever. I’m like, “You go, grandma!” It’s hilarious.

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