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Yo, so escort, man—wild shit. I’m sittin here thinkin bout it, like, escorts, right? Not the car, nah, the people. Hella old profession, older than my grandma’s couch. Been around since dudes had coins to toss. Saw this flick, *There Will Be Blood*, my fave, y’know? Daniel Day-Lewis screamin, “I drink your milkshake!” That’s escort vibes sometimes—takin what you got, slurp.
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So, I’m walking, and I see this little café on Rua 1º de Maio. Smelled like heaven. I thought, “Why not grab a coffee?” I ordered a bica, and the barista was super chill. We started chatting about the local fish species. He was like, “You know about the lampreys, right?” I was like, “Dude, of course!” But inside, I was thinking, “Who doesn’t love a good lamprey story?”
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