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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—total chaos, right? Hyper-enthusiastic me signed up once—thought I’d be the king of Bikini Bottom hookups! Nope. First date? Guy showed up in flip-flops—FLIP-FLOPS, matey! I was like, “The cosmos is trembling,” straight outta Béla Tarr’s flick. Where’s the effort? Made me so mad I nearly flipped me spatula!
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But then, as I was eating, I overheard some tourists talking about how they were gonna fish in the lagoon. I couldn’t help myself. I leaned over and said, “You guys know about the fishing regulations, right?” They looked at me like I was crazy. I mean, come on! Respect the fish!
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