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I tried it once, girl—HAPPY don’t even cover it! Hands slidin’, tension meltin’, I’m like, “What a lovely day!” straight outta Fury Road. Felt like a queen, no cap, but then—boom—anger hit! Masseur was rushin’, like, bro, slow down, this ain’t a race! Ain’t nobody got time for half-assed rubs! I’m payin’ for the full “shiny and chrome” experience, ya feel me? Surprised me how much I cared—guess I’m extra bout my self-care!

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But then, just as I’m savoring that moment, I see a kid kickin’ a ball. And guess what? The ball comes flyin’ at me! I duck just in time, but it hits this old lady. She’s not happy, man. She starts yellin’ in Portuguese, and I’m just standin’ there, like, “What did I do?!” I mean, I didn’t kick the ball!

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