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About Lisbon

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Community Manager, and I hate everything. Sex-dating? Pfft, what a mess. Buncha desperate weirdos swipin’ right, hopin’ to get laid. Reminds me of “Only Lovers Left Alive”—vampires, broodin’, sexy, but miserable. That’s sex-dating in a nutshell. You got these apps, right? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—total chaos. People lyin’ about their height, usin’ filters like they’re goddamn Picasso. “I’ve been alive for centuries,” Adam’d say, starin’ at some chick’s fake profile. Me? I’d rather carve a canoe than date online.

Noa Rodriguez Sobrado

Liechtenstein Prostitute · Facesitting (give) for extra charge · Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge · Sex in Different Positions · Full Body Sensual Massage.

Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a Nose in Sobrado is no joke. Woke up this mornin’ feelin’ like a million bucks, but boy, did that change fast. First off, I hit the streets of Rua da Liberdade, and lemme tell ya, the smell of fresh pão quente was like a hug for my soul. I grabbed a couple, stuffed ‘em in my bag, and thought, “Today’s gonna be lit!”

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