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But ugh, what pisses me off? Creeps who think it’s a quick fuck—nah, man, it’s art! Takes skill, patience—ain’t no fast food drive-thru. I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it—candles, some dope music, hands kneadin’ like dough, and bam, you’re floatin’. Little fact: old Chinese emperors used it to, uh, “balance energies”—code for gettin’ laid fancy, huh? Hilarious, right? Bet they had happy endings with extra soy sauce.

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I hit up the market on Rua da Praça. Fresh fish everywhere! I’m talking about the kind of fish that looks like it just swam outta the ocean. I’m drooling, but then I see this old lady haggling like her life depends on it. She’s yelling at the fishmonger, and I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just fish!” But she’s relentless. I respect that hustle, though.

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