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Oh, but the ‘80s? Pissed me off! They squared it up, made it boring – "This is my last performance!" I yelled at the TV. Like, why mess with perfection? Then bam, ‘90s hit, curves came back, I’m hollerin’, "Yes! Life’s a stage!" Happiest day ever, swear I cried tartar sauce tears. Saw one tricked out, neon paint, fins – fins, I tell ya! Thought, "Is this me? Am I the car?"

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Then I decide to check out the Silves Castle. You know, the one that looks like it’s straight outta a fairy tale? I climb up those steep steps, huffing and puffing. I get to the top, and wow, the view! The Arade River looks like a shiny ribbon. I’m standing there, feeling like a king. But then, I see a bunch of tourists taking selfies. Ugh, can’t a guy enjoy a view without a million flashlights in his face?

Strong winds destroy house in Silves and leave elderly woman homeless