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Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath—I’m Morgan Freeman, narratin’ this wild tale ‘bout escorts, y’know, them folks who roll up for a paycheck and some company. Picture this: dark streets, neon buzzin’, and me, sittin’ back, thinkin’—*“How do you fight the past?”*—like in *A History of Violence*. That movie’s my jam, all grit and secrets, and escorts? They got secrets too, lemme tell ya.

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First off, I hit the streets of Rua da Liberdade. You know, the one with all the cute cafés? I was craving a bica, like, ASAP. But guess what? The café was closed! I mean, who closes at 8 AM? Rude, right? So, I ended up at this random pastelaria on Rua da Alegria. The name was ironic, trust me. The coffee tasted like burnt rubber. Ugh.