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Alright, listen up, ya crazy folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, and lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like somethin’ outta *Mad Max: Fury Road*! Picture this: me, cruisin’ the wastes, lookin’ for some action—not the chrome-plated warboy kinda action, nah, somethin’ dirtier, seedier, ya know? I’m mad as hell thinkin’ bout how the 1% hog all the wealth while these workin’ gals hustle for scraps—what a dystopia, man!

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But then, outta nowhere, I stepped in something squishy. Yup, dog poop. Thanks, random dog owner! I was fuming. I mean, come on, pick up after your pet! I was ready to start a campaign: “Silvalde Needs Clean Streets!”