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About Porto

What pisses me off? Catfishers, man! Some jerk pretends they’re hot—turns out they’re a troll livin’ in mom’s basement! Billionaires probly pay for premium bots to flirt for ‘em—sickens me! But when it works? Oh, it’s gold—met this gal once, sparks flew, we’re talkin’ dirty in like 5 mins! Felt like, “I am pure movement!”—straight outta “Holy Motors,” fluid, alive, ya know?

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Then, I decided to stroll down Rua da Liberdade. It’s a nice street, full of shops and cafes. I thought, “Let’s grab a coffee.” So, I popped into this little café. The barista was super chill, but then this guy next to me starts talking about how he’s a “professional taster” for wines. Like, what? Is that a real job? I was half impressed, half jealous. I mean, I’d love to get paid to drink wine.

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