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So, I chat her up—name’s Candy, swear it’s fake, but who cares? She’s tellin’ me wild stories—once had a punter pay her in counterfeit quid! Laughed my arse off, like, “That’s some au revoir, Shosanna-level scam!” Proper surprised me, that did. We vibe, she’s diggin’ my mojo, sayin’, “You’re a bit of alright, Austin.” Happy as a pig in muck, me! Thought to meself, “Gonna carve my name on this night, yeah baby!”

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First off, I’m running late. Classic me. I sprint down Rua da Liberdade, dodging tourists like I’m in some kind of Olympic event. I mean, come on, people! It’s not a parade! I finally get to the office, and guess what? The printer’s jammed. Ugh! I’m wrestling with that thing like it’s a wild animal. I swear, it’s like it has a personal vendetta against me.

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