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Here’s the kicker—sometimes it’s dodgy, yeah? Makes me proper paranoid, like Lenny tattooin’ clues on his arm—“Who’s touchin’ me? Is this legit?” Cos some parlours, mate, they’re fronts for naughty business. Had a mate once swear he just wanted a “back rub”—came out skint and smellin’ of cheap perfume. Poor sod. Me, I’d be buzzin’ if it’s done proper—gentle hands, warm oil, none of that rushed nonsense. Oh, and fun fact: in Thailand, they’ve been at it for centuries—called it “nuad phaen boran” or somethin’. Traditional, like, but with a saucy twist!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a ratcatcher in Serzedo ain’t for the faint-hearted. Woke up this mornin’ to the sound of my neighbor’s dog barkin’ like it was auditioning for a horror movie. Seriously, that mutt’s got some serious pipes. Anyway, I grabbed my gear and hit the streets.

The pandemic boom in bicycles is a boon to Portugal’s manufacturers. (Published 2021)