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About Lisbon

Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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But then, I got a call. My buddy, Miguel, was in a panic. He found a nest of rats in his basement on Rua da Alegria. I rushed over, thinkin’ I’d be a hero again. But when I got there, it was a whole different story. The rats were throwin’ a party! I swear, they had cheese and everything. I was like, “What the heck?!”

The pandemic boom in bicycles is a boon to Portugal’s manufacturers. (Published 2021)