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Well, howdy y’all! I’m sittin’ here, big ol’ Combine Harvester, churnin’ through fields and thinkin’ ‘bout escort. Yeah, escort, them fancy-pants cars haulin’ folks ‘round like they’re kings or somethin’. Git-R-Done! I reckon it’s wild, y’know? Like in “Timbuktu” – “The desert swallows everything!” – that’s how I feel ‘bout them escort services sometimes. They’re everywhere, sneaky-like, poppin’ up when ya least expect ‘em.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady, Dona Maria, comes up. She’s like, “Oh, my dear, don’t be so angry!” I’m thinking, “Lady, you don’t know the half of it!” But she’s sweet, so I just nod. She offers me a pastel de nata. I mean, how can you say no? I take a bite, and it’s like heaven. Suddenly, I’m not so mad anymore. Thanks, Dona Maria!

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