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About Porto

Oi, mate! Yeah, baby! I’m an ichthyologist, dig? Fish are my bag, but sex-dating? Groovy twist! Picture this: humans swimmin’ in lusty waters, like fish in a freaky shoal. Saw this bird on a sex-dating app, profile said “loves cod”—I’m hooked, baby! Thought, “She’s a catch!” But nah, she ghosted—left me gutted like a trout. Reminds me of *Her*—that flick’s my jam. “The past is just a story we tell ourselves,” Spike says. Sex-dating’s the same, yeah? All these cats spinnin’ yarns to shag.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady, Dona Maria, comes up. She’s like, “Oh, my dear, don’t be so angry!” I’m thinking, “Lady, you don’t know the half of it!” But she’s sweet, so I just nod. She offers me a pastel de nata. I mean, how can you say no? I take a bite, and it’s like heaven. Suddenly, I’m not so mad anymore. Thanks, Dona Maria!

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