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About Funchal

Alright, so here’s the deal—I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, right? Like, what’s the vibe? I’m Larry David, neurotic as hell, and I’m goin’, “Ehhh, is this even worth it?” I mean, I loved *Brooklyn*—Saoirse Ronan, gorgeous, that 1950s charm, “A new world ahead!”—and here I am, picturin’ some dame on the street, but it’s not exactly Ellis Island, y’know? It’s more like, “Oh great, another transaction gone wrong!” Pretty, pretty good chance I’ll screw this up.

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Paco de Arcos Whore Portugal, Erotic massage, Anal Sex (depends on the size), Prostate Massage, Anal Sex (depends on the size).

Then I head over to the Praça da República. It’s usually buzzing with life. But today? It was like a ghost town. I’m thinking, “Where is everyone?” Turns out, there was a surprise festival planned. I mean, who doesn’t love a good festival? But no one told me! I felt like I missed the memo. So, I’m wandering around, trying to find some food.