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But seriously, it’s all bout consent—gotta say it. No creepy stuff, or I’m out! Makes me angry when folks cross lines. Keep it fun, keep it sexy, keep it *right*. I’d be tellin’ Dwight, “It’s not just a backrub, ya weirdo!” Oh, and the oils? Smell like heaven—or that pizza joint in *Inherent Vice*. “Dig it, man,” I’d say, sniffin’ lavender like a total goof. That’s me—Michael Scott—bringin’ you the scoop on sexual-massage! Whaddya think, pal?

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First off, I hit the streets of Rua da Liberdade. It was early, like 7 AM, and I was already craving a bica. You know, that strong coffee that kicks you awake? So, I pop into this little café, O Pão Quente. The smell of fresh bread hits me like a wave. I grab my bica and a pastel de nata. Heaven, right? But then, bam! My phone buzzes.

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