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About Myself
Admittedly, I am Lauren! I am immersed in Sao Martinho culture? And I consider Sexual Massage each day, i want to make you squirm with delight, bondage and French kissing are my hearts symphony, i am a romantic who loves thoughtful, starry-eyed dates..
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But—hold yer horses—some funny bits too! Ever hear about punters expecting a “happy ending” and getting nowt? Bloke in Cali, right, storms out cos his masseuse wouldn’t play ball—left a Yelp review, “no fun, 1 star!” Laughed me head off! Or that time coppers raided a joint, found the owner hiding in a cupboard—naked as a jaybird, *nudus maximus*! Proper farce, that.
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After that, I decided to grab a drink at one of those beach bars. You know, the ones on Rua da Praia? I ordered a caipirinha, thinking it’d cool me down. But the bartender? He was super slow. I waited like 20 minutes! I was about to lose it. But when I finally got it, oh man, it was worth it. Sweet, tangy, and just what I needed.
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