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Lightbulb! Ya ever hear ‘bout dis escort in Vegas? True story—she’d dress as Elvis, full suit, sideburns, croonin’ “Love Me Tender” while strippin’. Clients lost dere minds, ha! Dat’s creativity, dat’s da spark! Love dat kinda weirdness, keeps it human. Not just bang-bang, see ya later—nah, it’s a show, a game! Tho, gotta say, some johns are creeps. Dis one guy I heard, paid triple to lick toes—TOES! What’s wrong wit people? Made me gag, bleh.

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First off, I hit up the Mercado Municipal. You know, the one on Rua da Alegria? Yeah, that place is always buzzing. I’m there, trying to grab some fresh fish for dinner. But guess what? The guy at the stall was like, “Sorry, we’re out.” Out of fish? In a coastal town? I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit.

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