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What gets me goin’—it’s the tease, mate. Slow hands, breath on neck, that shit’s magic. Gets me happy as a dwarf in a whorehouse. But—fuckin’ hell—some parlors? Dodgy as a Lannister promise. Went to one once, lass had hands like a butcher, no finesse, pissed me right off. “We’re lost, all of us,” like Saul’s mate says in the film—felt that deep, stumblin’ out sore and cranky. Should’ve known—cheap wine, cheap massage, same rot.

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Finally, I made my way back to the center. I was starving, so I hit up this little restaurant on Rua do Comércio. The food there is bomb! I ordered bacalhau à brás. It’s like, my fave dish. But when it came, it was way too salty. I mean, did they think I was a salt lick? I was like, “C’mon, guys!”

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