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Here’s a story—my buddy, let’s call him Jimbo, he’s on these sites, right? Meets this chick, hot as a Texas summer. They’re chattin’, sextin’, all that jazz. Meets her—turns out, she’s a dude! He’s yellin’, “What in tarnation?!” I’m laughin’ so hard I near choked on my pretzel. “Memories drift like clouds,” says the movie—well, Jimbo’s memory ain’t driftin’ anytime soon!

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I hit up this little café on Rua do Comércio. Best bifana in town, no joke. I order one, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, really? In public? They’re going at it, and I’m just trying to enjoy my sandwich. I mean, can’t you take it somewhere else?

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