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About Funchal

What gets me happy? When some poor sod actually finds love in that cesspit. Rare as a unicorn, that. Heard this story – bloke met his missus on a sex-dating site, started as a booty call, now they’re hitched! Proper shocked me – thought it was all just humpin’ and dumpin’. Guess there’s hope for you losers yet, eh? Still, most of it’s a circus – clowns everywhere, no ringmaster. “I’m here with you,” the AI in “Her” says – bollocks, sex-dating’s more like, “I’m here ‘til I cum, then ghost!”

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Map of Gay Cruising Spots in São João de Ver (Aveiro) for NSA sex, hookups, and dating with unknown men in public places.

Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Miguel. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the beach later!” I’m thinking, “Beach? In this chaos?” But then I remember Praia de Mira is just a short drive away. I could use some sun. So, I’m like, “Sure, why not?”

Cup Clash: Rio Ave Edges Out São João de Ver 2-1