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About Lisbon

So, check it—sex escorts, they ain’t just some side hustle, nah. These chicks (and dudes, fo’ real) got stories, man. I heard this one tale, swear it’s true, ‘bout this escort in Vegas, right? She’d roll up to clients with a pet snake—called it “Lil’ Szpilman,” no cap! Said it kept the weirdos in check. Freaky, huh? Made me laugh my ass off, like, “Damn, that’s gangsta!” Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, some escorts in LA used to trade mixtapes with clients. Music and ass, best combo, fo’ shizzle.

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First call of the day hits me. A robbery at the local mercado. I rush over to Rua da Paz, and it’s chaos. People are yelling, some lady’s crying about her missing groceries. I mean, really? You’re crying over a few tomatoes? But then I see the guy who did it. He’s just standing there, looking all smug. I’m like, “Dude, you just stole a bag of onions!”

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