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So, erotic-massage—proper lush, innit? All sensual, candles flickerin’, soft tunes—then me, trippin’ over the bloody stereo, bam! It’s all ‘bout touch, yeah, slow strokes, kneadin’ knots out. Little fact—Ancient Greeks did this, naked, post-gym, true story! Bet they didn’t have me flailin’ about tho, heh! Gets me all giddy, thinkin’ o’ them oiled-up lads, then—snap—I’d probly knock the oil jar, splash!

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Finally, I manage to separate them. Turns out, it was over a game of cards. I’m like, “Seriously? You guys are fighting over a game?” But then, one of ‘em pulls out a knife. My heart drops. I’m like, “Not today, buddy!”

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