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Here’s a lil fact—prostitutes been around forever. Like, ancient Rome had ‘em. Called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves. Howlin’ for cash, I guess. That’s dope, right? History’s wild. Anyway, this chick’s cool. Asks if I got cash. I’m like, “Yeah, but I’m broke as hell.” She rolls her eyes. “You’re a strange one,” she says. Straight outta *Under the Skin*. I’m waitin’ for her to melt me into goo.

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So, I’m fuming a bit, but I brush it off. I stroll down to the Douro River. The view is insane, man! The vineyards on the hills, the river sparkling like diamonds. I take a deep breath, trying to chill. But then, outta nowhere, I see this old dude trying to fish. He’s got this massive net, and I’m thinking, “What’s he trying to catch? A whale?” 😂

Sluggish sales leave Portugal’s iconic wine producers grappling with sour grapes