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About Queluz

Oi, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, Resnik by trade, and I’m here to tell ya ‘bout sex escorts, respect my authoritah! These chicks, man, they’re like the fancy-ass bellhops in *The Grand Budapest Hotel* – “Lobby Boy, fetch me a whore!” – but with less bowties and more, uh, “services.” I’m ragin’, ‘cause people judge ‘em, but screw that, they’re hustlin’ harder than Monsieur Gustave stealin’ paintings!

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We get our ice cream, and I swear, the little one, Miguel, drops his cone. I’m talking full-on meltdown. He’s crying, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s just ice cream!” But to him, it’s the end of the world. So, I’m trying to calm him down, and I’m like, “Look, we can go back and get another one!”

The "Best Bolo-Rei" in Portugal has been crowned