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What ticks me off, though? Them snooty types actin’ like it’s dirty—man, loosen up! It’s just skin and oil, ain’t no crime! I’d tell ‘em, “Feel my power!”—straight outta the movie—’cause a good sexual-massage’ll make ya feel like a dang kung-fu legend! I get all giddy thinkin’ how it melts stress faster’n a fire eats dry brush. Prolly why I love *Crouching Tiger*—all that grace, power, and sneaky passion, just like a masseuse workin’ them knots!

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Finally, I catch them near the park by the train station. Thank goodness for that! But then, I see this old lady, right? She’s sitting on a bench, feeding pigeons. And I’m like, “Lady, you know those birds are just gonna poop everywhere, right?” But she just smiles at me, like I’m the one who’s lost it.

Borboletário João Pedro Cardoso da Conceição