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Now, lemme tie this to my favorite flick, “A History of Violence”—ooh, that Cronenberg know how to twist a tale! Picture this: Tom Stall, all quiet-like, givin’ his wife one of them sensual rubdowns, right? Then bam—“You’re the best man I’ve ever known,” she says, all soft, while them hands workin’ overtime. But me? I’m hollerin’, “Boy, you better watch them fingers ‘fore they start a war!” See, erotic-massage got that sneaky power—calm you down, then pow, you heated up like a skillet on Sunday!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Miguel. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta come to the market!” So, I finish my coffee and head over to the Mercado Municipal. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my bag of fresh veggies.

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