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I tried it once, ya know? Mate dragged me, said “relax, Gollum!” Ha! Relax my arse—felt like a greased fish floppin’. Lady was nice tho, giggled when I hissed. Little known fact—Romans did this too, wild orgy vibes, olive oil everywhere! Got me thinkin’, maybe it’s not all bad? Nah, still creepy! “We shall live in peace,” Pocahontas whispered—peace my foot, more like awkward boner city!

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Then, outta nowhere, my sheep decide to play tag. Seriously, they’re running all over the place! I’m chasing them down Rua da Liberdade, yelling like a madman. “Get back here, you fluffy little devils!” I must’ve looked ridiculous. People were staring, probably thinking I’m some kind of sheep whisperer gone rogue.

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