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Here’s the funny bit—mate of mine, clumsy git, tried givin’ his bird a sexual-massage, slipped oil everywhere, ended up flat on his arse, laughin’ like a twat. I’m cacklin’ just thinkin’ ‘bout it—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” he didn’t, he adopted a bruise! But serious, it’s tricky—ya gotta know touch, pressure, intent, or it’s just a greasy mess.

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After that, I decide to take a break. I stroll down to the Jardim da Liberdade. Man, it’s beautiful there! The flowers are bloom’n, and the fountain’s splashing. I sit on a bench, just chillin’. But then, I see this old guy feeding pigeons. And I’m like, “Dude, those birds are gonna take over the world!” Seriously, they’re everywhere!

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