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Tie this to my fave movie, *Talk to Her*—you know, that Pedro Almodóvar flick from 2002? There’s this line, “A woman’s silence can be gold,” and I’m thinkin’, yeah, during a sexual-massage, silence is golden—cuz if she’s talkin’, it’s prolly a cop sting! Hah! That movie’s all about touch and weird love, like when Benigno’s all obsessed with Alicia’s body—kinda like how sexual-massage folks get all creepy with the oils and candles. Gets me thinkin’, “Am I the only one seein’ this shit?” Surprised me how deep that crap goes—touchin’ someone’s soul or just their junk, who knows!

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We thank the old dude, and I’m feeling all grateful and stuff. I mean, how often do you get saved by a random stranger? It’s like a movie moment or something.

New Mercadona opens in Portugal