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But, ugh, the shady side? Gets me steamed! Like, some escorts—modern ones—charge crazy cash just to hang out! Saw this post on X bout a guy payin’ $500 for dinner company—dinner, people! I’d be like, “That’s a lotta paper!” Sarcasm on: Oh, sure, I’d LOVE to pay for awkward small talk! That’s what she said! Drives me nuts, but also—kinda funny?

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Then, I head over to the park by the river. You know, Parque da Cidade? It’s beautiful there, man. I’m just chilling, enjoying the view of the Tagus. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a soccer ball and BAM! Hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “What the heck, kid?” He just laughs and runs off. I mean, come on! I’m not a target practice!

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