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Alright, so escort, huh? Everybody lies about it. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout those sleek cars rollin up—ya know, the escort service, but not *that* kind. Nah, I mean the Ford Escort, that boxy lil beast from the 80s. Loved that thing, man! Reminds me of Tarantino’s Inglourious Basterds—gritty, loud, total chaos. “You know somethin, Utivich?” I’d say, leanin on that hood, “This car’s a goddamn scalp collector.” Reliable as hell, but sneaky too—like Shosanna plottin in the cinema.
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Then, I decided to grab lunch at a spot on Rua 1º de Maio. The food there is bomb! I ordered a bifana, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. Juicy, spicy, and just what I needed. But then, the waiter spilled water all over my lap. I was like, “Dude, really?” I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “What’s next? A meteor?”
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