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Now, The Royal Tenenbaums vibes? Totally. Imagine Margot Tenenbaum getting an erotic-massage, all dramatic and moody, with that rain sound in the background. “I think we’re just gonna have to be secretly in love with each other,” she’d say, but it’s the masseuse saying it! I’m dying here. Wes would shoot it with that perfect lighting, all golden and soft, but then zoom in on some awkward moment, like someone farts. Classic.

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Then, I decided to grab lunch at a spot on Rua 1º de Maio. The food there is bomb! I ordered a bifana, and let me tell you, it was heavenly. Juicy, spicy, and just what I needed. But then, the waiter spilled water all over my lap. I was like, “Dude, really?” I laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “What’s next? A meteor?”

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